Your SOS Model Christmas Survival Guide!!
Christmas is coming, and ‘tis the season to get gout. After a year of hot water with a lemon, ‘explosive squats’ and quinoa, the temptation to let ourselves go and indulge in gluttony, idleness and alcohol is very, very great.
And succumb we often do, but riddled throughout with the knowledge that, come January 5th, we’ll be heading off to castings and stripping down to our undies for bikini castings. And none of the other girls up for the job appear to have eaten even ONE purple one. What is with that?
I’ve been through many Christmases as a model before and I’ve made all the mistakes, so please, from knowledge hard-earnt, let me guide you through how not to start growing into the couch this Christmas….
1) You’re not a cow so don’t GRAZE.
OK so the good thing about Christmas dinner is that it can actually be quite healthy! Just go for more turkey (protein) and veg and less on the potatoes and pudding.
But it’s not really Christmas dinner that’s the evil here. Oh no – the odd big meal won’t do anyone harm.
It’s the SNACKING! All those open boxes of chocolates and the desire to have the nice ones before everyone else leaves you with the glue-your-teeth-together crappy toffee ones. There’s also the fact that there’s a whole fridge shelf dedicated to cheeses, and you need to take a bite of each one every time you open that fridge! Another mince pie? Why not! Leftover sandwich? Well if my siblings are doing it, I don’t want to miss out!
We don’t come back in January tubbier because of one big turkey-based meal – it’s all that absent-minded picking we do in front of the TV. I’m afraid it adds up…
So RULE #1: Enjoy your food, but do so mindfully.
– Have a proper breakfast. “I didn’t have breakfast, so I can have this foot long box of Jaffa Cakes instead,” isn’t a valid diet plan.
– Savour the food rather than eating it ‘cos it’s there’. I avoid being a calorie counter, as I don’t want to get trapped in a number prison, but 1 Celebration is 90-100 calories. Until I knew this I used to have, like, 7 or 8 (by which I mean 15), which are more calories than we’re meant to eat for lunch!
– Make a brothy soup based on my soup recipe with the turkey carcass and enjoy that as a light but nutritious dinner for a few days over the festive period.
2) Have BOOZE-FREE days
It’s more about damage limitation than being Gwyneth Paltrow here. I realise that the Christmas parties have started and those corks are gonna keep popping ‘til we repent and live a month (week) of abstinence from January 2nd. As well as having lots of calories, alcohol is terrible for giving us spots and dry skin. On the other hand, it looks so tempting when handed out by a parent in the nice glasses while you watch a bit of TV together…And it’s so easy to have ‘just the one’.
So RULE #2: enjoy, but try to have the odd booze-free day to give your liver a chance to rest.
3) Don’t grow into your sofa
Throughout the year, we force ourselves to exercise in all weathers, despite hectic days of castings and shoots – so it’s nice to have a little rest with our family.
The first few days are for sleeping and eating, but there’s that weird lull after Christmas and New Year – or, as I like to call it, the perineum of the year – in which we forget how to live, become unaware as to whether it is night or day, and start living for the TV schedule and little else. We can’t even muster the energy to dunk a biscuit.
Pack your running shoes and go for a little jog around the suburbs, or a yoga/Pilates DVD. It’s actually nice to have a few minutes to yourself. Do a minute’s plank the second you wake up, or take the family’s dogs for a walk every day. My parents save up their guest passes for the gym and I head in there with them, only to realise with horror that my 65-year old parents appear to be a lot fitter than me.
Rule #3: Get moving. You will start your 2015 energised and fingers crossed still fit into clothes on shoots.
4) Take that dressing gown off!
Admittedly, this advice is coming from a lady who takes her bra & skinny jeans off the second she gets back home every day. Aaaah, there’s nothing quite like the relief of taking off an underwire after a hard day’s bra-wearing.
What tends to happen around Christmas, however, is that your oldest, crustiest jogging bottoms that Dad’s kept ‘for decorating’ come on, as do your baggiest T shirts (you sleep in them, and then put a jumper over the top in the morning. Don’t deny it. We all do it).
Your waist can then be ignored as it comfortably expands underneath all those slobby layers. Bad idea.
Rule #4: Keep wearing your fitted clothes. I don’t measure or weigh myself, but once my skinny jeans start seriously restricting my movement/blood supply (not to mention the camel toe) I know it’s time to let up on the pigs in blankets and get out for a run.
Christmas is for loving, eating, drinking and bickering. Every year, I embrace it and love it all (apart from the Monopoly – SNORE!). All you really need to do is follow my four simple rules and you can enjoy a guilt-free yule – and an energised, successful start to your 2015!