Three Reasons Why Dating a Model is Tough…

To give you an idea of why one might need to think about maintaining a relationship in modelling, let me give you a couple of examples of what my boyfriend, Theo, has had to deal with.

Scenario #1

Last year, I rang Theo after a couple of days shooting a commercial in Ibiza. “Hello!” I said. “How are you! I just thought I should tell you that the male model, Joss, is gonna stay round my house tonight and tomorrow cos he doesn’t live here and needs a place to stay for the London leg of the shoot. Oh, and, erm, by the way…He’s my boyfriend in the advert. And we have to kiss in the shots sometimes. Not with tongues though.”

“Er….ok…”

*whispers* “I promise he’s not my type! Bit too into conspiracy theories for me.” *Louder* “Here! Joss, speak to Theo!”

*Cue the most awkward phone conversation OF ALL TIME*

Not to end it there, I actually then had this as my profile picture for about a year. Well, you would, wouldn’t you…

IBIZA SKYOfficially he best shoot of my life…

Scenario #2

This weekend, Theo and I are off to Paris for a romantic weekend as well as my bestest friend’s birthday party. I booked the Eurostar months ago, and we’ve paid for our accommodation. He’s booked the time off work and we’re pretty excited to spend some loving time together in gay paree!!

french
I don’t know about you, but I just hate cultural stereotypes

Except….

Now I’m on option for an advert in Tokyo. At exactly the same time. I found out about it just over a week before Paris and we’re now in limbo – is Paris happening? Is he gonna have to find a holiday companion replacement? Will we lose our deposit on our Air BnB? Because at no point would I even contemplate saying no to this job. TOKYO! A TV Commercial! 12000 DOLLARS!!!!

When I rang my boyfriend, I was full of dread. Oh god, he’s gonna be pissed off – I know he’s really excited for this Paris trip. And this is how the phone conversation went…

“Er, hello. Sooooo….you know Paris? I’m on option for a TV commercial in Tokyo at exactly the same time, now.” *tense face*

“That’s cool, it’s exciting! Congratulations. We’ll figure it out.”

And that is why he’s my boyfriend.

Scenario #3

{actress sits on a stool by the window! crying beautific tears of melancholy}

{actor approaches, eating peanut butter from the jar with the spoon. Despite her sadness, actress cannot help but notice that the actor keeps double dipping the spoon}

dogbutterYep, this is exactly what it was like.

Bf: what’s up? {crunches incredibly loudly}

Gf: I am old and past it.

Bf: No you’re not! Why do you say that?

Gf: I haven’t made any money for two months. I haven’t even had a casting for a month, it is because I am old and ugly and fat.

Bf: You’re none of those things. You’re beautiful, very thin and it’s just a quiet patch, it’ll pick up soon! [fyi it did! – R] By the way, there’s a tear on your boob.

To be worthy of you, your boyfriend or girlfriend is going to have to understand that there may be long periods of being away from one another. They’re going to have to put up with you moping and moaning that you’ve had no work, or crying that you’ve lost out on that job you wanted. Sometimes, they have to feel elated with you at getting a shoot that pays more in a day than they earn in a month. You can’t say no to work, so if you say yes to a job that’s on his or her birthday, for example, it’s not an insult or anything personal. I wouldn’t expect my boyfriend to rush out from his 9-5 (more truthfully 9-830) at plans I’d made. Likewise, he wouldn’t expect me to say no to work when it arises.

So firstly, Your relationship needs UNDERSTANDING…

catty

…That yours is a legitimate career, and that to get ahead, you need to do whatever work that comes up: wherever and whenever. Choosing work over plans isn’t a reflection on how much your relationship means to you, it is simply the nature of modelling. If someone’s gonna guilt trip you over it, that’s their problem and their lack of understanding at how you job works.

Modelling can seem like a bit of a fun hobby to some – a bit of a flippant industry with chances popping up all the time. Especially on days when they’re marching off to work on Monday at 8am and your plan is ‘lie-in, Pilates, casting then popping into the agency for cards’. So your prospective/current partner needs to do it RESPECT the fact that the job you do is a legitimate career. Because modelling takes hard work, determination and talent.

illuminaterespectFunnily enough I have zero respect for whoever owns this tattoo…

The last vital thing is TRUST….

catmouse

…That both of you will remain faithful even when you can’t see one another for long periods of time. Or that when you’re on a shoot where you have to get close and intimate on a shoot with a male model, it’s just acting and doing your job. I’ve seen too many models throw away careers due to a jealous partner and it’s so upsetting and frustrating to see. We all like a Facebook stalk of the partner’s ex once in a while (whoever denies that is LYING!). But dating someone who won’t trust you and seeks to control you is unhealthy and I advise you to GET OUTTA THERE!

As you can see, a relationship with a model is far less glamorous than it seems! For us, someone to love means having someone to peel of the glamour and be our true selves with. I bet even Rosie Huntington-whitely walks around in her boyfriend’s boxers with toothpaste on her spots sometimes.

Rosie-Huntington-WhiteleyActually she probably doesn’t…

If you can’t find a partner in crime who’s gonna trust you and respect the job you do, get rid. You want someone who’ll nurture you and your career, not put up obstacles all the time. If you know your worth as a person and a model, you’ll attract a person who values you for the whole package – unpredictable life, male models, fat days and all!

IMG_2492When people ask what it is I see in Theo, I reply ‘that we’re silly together’ (as you can see from this piccie) and omit that his Dad has a villa in Greece.

Rebecca x

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2 Comments

  1. Katia E wrote:

    Had a great start of the day while laughing on my train journey to London. I think dating models is awesome! Kx

  2. modeltypeface wrote:

    Glad to have made you laugh Katia – and a pleasure shooting with you as always!

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