ONLY HUMAN! Modeltypeface’s Mortifying Mooncup Moment…
Well, you read your way through my Mooncup article yesterday in which I encouraged you to give this money-and-planet-saving wonder a go. So I’m going to reward you with possibly my most embarrassing life story yet for my series Only Human.
I mean, I didn’t think I’d write about this because I was so horrified at it all. But I’m a blogger, and I’m a sharer, so my mortification is for your pleasure these days. Any chance to give you a titter.
I went to Yoga on Saturday, met a friend for lunch then headed off to the Ladies. I was delighted to find that it was a nice fancy one with a sink per cubicle, which is perfect for a Mooncup user as you have to rinse it, but also because I like to take my time taking it out and putting it in as I’m new to the game. I sauntered in, locked the door, and went about my Mooncupping.
So, I was in the process of crouching down, ‘putting it in’ by which I basically mean some of my fingers were up my fanny.
The door started to open.
*Walks out of room and bangs head against wall for a couple of seconds*
I shouted out *DOOR LOCKED I LOCKED DOOR DOOR LOCKED AAAAHH* but more garbled.
The thing was, though, that I wasn’t exactly at eye line, so the MAN opening the door (unisex toilets) carried on opening. The. Door. Wide. Open.
**Lies on floor and cries into laminate**
The other thing was that I couldn’t exactly leap up. My skinny jeans were pulled right down and, well, I wasn’t exactly in the position to jump in a split second.
I managed to get up, and the man’s face went completely white. I hadn’t been able to pull up my jeans in time so I have no idea what he, and everyone else in the queue, saw. I can imagine, but then I stop imagining, because the memory hurts so much.
“SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY” He repeated.
I was literally shaking and had no desire to leave my hated cubicle with it’s rubbish lock, EVER.
I rang my boyfriend, genuinely quite upset, who managed to stifle his laughter to tell me to just get out of the cubicle and not look up. I couldn’t. I literally couldn’t! I stayed in there for about ten minutes, shaking with embarrassment and fear that I’d see the bloke.
I eventually managed to get out of there, talking to my boyfriend and staring resolutely at the floor until I was about ten minutes away from the hotel.
I hope you appreciate how much I love you all for sharing that story with you.