FlashbackFriday: FAST CARS, HOT WOMEN, WILD RIDES! My Tread Cover
Yes Readers, this is me. That lady you see in Fair Trade clothing, smiling sweetly and talking about feminism…
IS A HOT WOMAN AND A WILD RIDE WHO IS INTO FAST CARS!
What is funny about this shot is how very unsexy the reality was. You know the truth? I had the worst camel toe in that catsuit. Like, INSANELY BAD. If you saw it, you’d wince. I also remember feeling a bit fat, as we’d had to wait around whilst the shot was set up (we were at a drag racing/aeroplane weird cemented place in Essex). While waiting, I believe I’d had one or two or three or ten biscuits/donuts/chocolate cake pieces/packets of crisps and then been surprised by the stylist with this skintight catsuit (let that be a lesson to you all).
So, quick-thinking as I am I decided that I’d do an over-the-shoulder shot, to save readers from an anatomically correct vision of my fanny. I then stood there, breathing in diesel fumes for half an hour, slowly getting a crick in my neck and pain in my back from sticking my bum out so much.
Has my bum:waist ratio been slightly digitally altered here? Hmmm – I’m saying nothing, but I’m not entirely sure where my kidneys are meant to fit…
Later on, I had to do a shot on a car bonnet. The owners of the cars were all stood around, filming the whole thing on their phones. What was I doing? Straddling the male model, pretending to snog him.
“I hope my Gran doesn’t see this,” I whispered.
“I hope my fiance doesn’t see this,” he quietly replied. “Oh. Er. Your top,” he added.
I looked down. My strapless dress had folded down to my waist, revealing my boobs to the entire audience of men filming – who had all decided not to tell me. I felt horribly self-conscious, and silently fought back tears whilst I carried on fake snogging.
I do feel that I have to add here – flashing aside, it was an absolutely incredible shoot! I had such fun pretending that I was in Grease the Musical and the photographer, Jamie Baker, was and is one of the most talented, enthusiastic guys I’ve ever had the fortune of working with.
I shall look on this shot when I’m old and arthritically pat myself on the back – retouch, camel toe and all.
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