“You’re bound for physical abuse if he catches you making out with a handsome male model on the side’: My (ANGRY) Reaction to a Reader’s Comment…

So I just got this comment on my article ‘How to Snog on Photoshoots‘…

Screen shot 2016-04-07 at 18.02.06

I wanted to address it because it made me a horrible mixture of angry, sad and worried.


It’s essentially saying that a woman is ‘asking for’ abuse if she happens to do her job, modelling. If this is really your perspective on how relationships work then I feel that you need some councelling and to read The Female Eunuch.

As I say in my article, if you’re not with someone who understands what you do for a living – model, look beautiful, travel the world independently with strangers (including men), earn your own money, prioritise your job over other commitments and yes, sometimes look intimate with a male model ON A SHOOT – then DUMP HIM! (or her).

It’s not always easy – my boyfriend definitely swallows the odd impulse of jealousy if I’m off to shoot a commercial with a male model. He was on option for a shoot with another model who would have played his girlfriend and I was definitely repressing some teeny jealousy spikes. But ultimately I wanted him to get the job, especially because we have a that vital ingredient that every healthy relationship needs: trust.

And a lack of fear that he will hit me.

Secondly, male models are not famous ‘home wreckers’. You are perhaps talking from some sort of personal experience but the last male model I worked with was gay, the guy before that had a girlfriend he droned on about endlessly, and the guy before that was so into conspiracy theories that I wouldn’t fancy him in a trillion years!

Models making out on a shoot are just DOING THEIR JOB and it’s usually VERY AWKWARD and it’s not REMOTELY CHEATING!

Penultimately, sharing photos from the shoot may be part of your job and frankly shows that you’re not cheating, because you can be so open about the job you did.

And finally, posing with another guy is never more fun and interesting than posing with my boyfriend.


One Comment

  1. Lisa wrote:

    I apologize for that (I was referring to other models not you). But anyway, in my case, my family and relatives (including my younger close cousin who got married and doesn’t look like she could model in which she called me a slut for modeling) would think I was cheating since they are very conservative and anti-feminist even though I’m thinking of going back into modeling despite the fact my family and relatives think that it would ruin my marriage (or chances of getting married) although I used to model. In addition they’ve also told me models are not marriage material, including male ones, since we live here in America where divorce rates are very high.

    And yes, they stereotype American (and even other Western) models as being promiscuous and unfaithful since they are Filipino, despite my family being mestizos, even though they show favoritism towards cousins in the Philippines who model rather than me modeling here in America because they don’t see Filipino models (or any other Eastern models) as slutty. In fact, it seems like I come from a highly collectivist (and also Evangelical) culture that heavily emphasizes a lot on marriage and monogamy.

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